When Magical meets Mundane

The full moon was a week ago and I was ready for it.  Sorta…

Keeping track of the moon and having a plan of what I want to manifest outwardly has been something I’ve been working on.

I had my plan:   I was going to create a ritual space along with a daily ritual.

I thought of this around the time of the new moon, so I had time to create the space and decide the ritual.  The space would be in my bedroom, that is probably the most sacred space for me in the entire house.  Other than sleep, storytime with the kids, sex with the hubs, and reading, nothing else super worldly enters that space.  No homework, no work of any kind.  That’s always been my rule.  And it’s worked, it’s a very peaceful place that I enjoy very much.

I began finding a space in our room and clearing out clutter.  It was very fun, I enjoyed it a lot.

However, about a week later, something else was beginning to gnaw at my heart.  Ritual was great, physical space was great, but something wasn’t right.  It was like a rock in my shoe, something small was rubbing just right to make everything feel off.

I made a list of other things that I need help with.  Things both personal and that would benefit others.  The winner of the list making was that feeding the family was most important.

Okay, it’s not that I don’t feed my family, I just make dinner last minute and sometimes the protein is still frozen when I try to cook it.  This leads to spending too long making dinner and eating way too late and finishing dinner right at bedtime.  Also, the resources we already had weren’t being used.  I’d go out for a last minute trip and end up buying something twice.  It was stressing me out and a giant mess.

Then came the doubt.

Isn’t the moon’s blessing supposed to be spiritual in nature?  But if the body isn’t happy, the spirit can’t be happy right?  And if Momma aint happy, nobody’s happy.  But this is just so, so, so boring.

 

I pulled out my tarot deck and asked my normal “upcoming week” questions for help with picking a direction.

What is the energy of the upcoming week?  Nine of Cups, reversed

What can I do to best channel this energy?  Eight of Pentacles, Two of Pentacles, and Ace of Swords

Likely outcome of the week if I best use this energy?  The Lovers, reversed.

I read reversed cards as pertaining to myself personally.  So What I got from this is that my own wish and needs will be met.  This allowed me to embrace the mundane goals for this full moon.  The lessons in the channeling cards show that a habit should be created, but the 2 of pentacles meant it was still fluctuating, and that if I kept it as simple as possible (the Ace of Swords) it will best serve its purpose.  And if I worked at creating a routine that would help with this goal of keeping up with meals, groceries, and inventory, harmony would be reached within myself (The Lovers, reversed).

[Again, I read intuitively based on the story of the Rider-Waite deck cards]

 

Okay, so with the cards showing me that I should follow my gut and that it was possible to create something that would help with my current dilemma.  And that’s what I did.

I made a printable that has space for days of the week (dinner only), a space for noting needed groceries for the planned meals.  Along with a note about any prep needed for the next dinner.  A small space to note where they can be purchased.  On the back is an inventory based on category.  This lives in a page protector and can be written on as needed.

It was all finished the day of the full moon.  That night I meditated on it and set my intentions for the upcoming moon cycle.

One Week Later:

I really like this planning page.  I plan all the meals for the week on Sunday, note anything that needs to be prepped for the next day.   The list lives in my keto binder, so I can make a grocery list as I plan the menu for the week.  It’s easy to update and manage.   I feel much calmer about dinner, even though I’m still working on creating things that the entire family will eat and will be in line with my diet, but that’s just part of this new transition.

 

While I would rather work on spiritual endeavors in sync with the moon phases, if the physical isn’t happy then the spiritual won’t have a place to reside.  So when I get this under control, I will be more likely to turn more spiritual once again.

Visible Self Care – Trying to Set Examples for the Kiddos

My goals for this moon cycle was self-improvement. With the New Moon, I focused on creating internal self-care habits that can be seen by others, but only work for me.  Things like journaling and meditation.  It’s nice when the kids see that I am trying to make time for myself, but I can’t really include them into these activities with me.  Sure, I can try and have the 2 year old sit still and meditate…  (I laughed as I typed that sentence) or have the 5 year old color with me while I work on my journal and maybe not ask me how to draw an X or Y or Z.

And that led to my external list.  The goal is to take time for myself, but these are also things that the kids could do too with little explanation or coaxing.  While I will NOT let them light incense for a few years, we can sit at the table and enjoy the smell or look at the smoke together.  I can make them lemon and honey tea to sip along with me while I sip my coffee and we can try to be mindful about how it feels to drink our beverages.

vintage-1794705_1920

Somedays I feel like the dormouse, but I act the part of the March Hare

And even though the point of self-care is to focus more on yourself, these simple activities actually cause the kids to slow down for a few  minutes with me and we both benefit.  They don’t join me every time, and occasionally I do wait until they are doing something else entirely (mommy needs space some days).

However, the fact that they can see me taking a break is important to me.  I don’t remember seeing much of this in my own family.  I am sure my parents had their methods of taking a break, but most of it was at the end of the day.  My mom would always go to bed early and read or watch TV, and my dad was a computer geek who would be working on his computer for fun.  Beyond that, I don’t remember much.  Day time was always for being active and busy, and while there is nothing wrong with that, I need breaks of silence and aloneness to function my best.  (yay for being an introvert!)

For my parents, the active days and relaxing nights worked for them.  But for me, after I left home, I thought I was doing something wrong.  I would seek out lunch breaks at work alone or with a book.  I would come home and not want to talk or even see my husband because I had to be around people in a very small clinic all day long and I was very done.  And even now, staying home with the kids, I thought I was a terrible mother because I still make my 5 year old take naps (okay, rests) in her room, so that I can have time to just sit and be still.

I didn’t “know” I could take a break or a minute when I became an adult, especially a mother.  Not during the day, anyway, I would rush rush rush to get everything done – chores, meals, handwriting and letters for the soon to be  kindergartener, errands, lesson planning/grading (I taught part time at the local technical college), laundry.  I had to do ALL the things before the sun went down.  I would read at night, but sometimes I’d still be thinking or worrying about my day or work the next day, or the kids (once they came into our lives).

The burnout was intense, but I didn’t realize it until I stopped my teaching job last month.  I have extra time without grading and lesson planning.  And when I tried to enjoy it, I felt wracked with guilt.  I can’t sit and work on a novel that I tried to start for last NaNoWriMo.  I can’t take a nap.  I can’t actually (and finally) open and start playing Stardew Valley (only been putting that off for about two years).

This moon cycle was my first step to making sure that I take care of myself in order to take care of those around me.

I’ve read about self-care for years.  I even talked about it in my English 101 classes (hypocrite!).  I studied it, but never acted on it (what I do about everything I’m interested in)  I even started trying to make small things happen daily.  Things that were just for me, but then something would throw off my rhythm and I would spiral downward.  But, if I can have small things, non-routine things, that I can even do with the kids, then this habit should grow and help all of us.

These simple things are something I can pull from when I need to clear my head and only have a few minutes.  They also can work when the kids want to be with me (which some days is ALL day long).  And things they can pick up and use for themselves.  My daughter occasionally takes short breaks in her room where she just lies on the bed and looks out her window for a few minutes.  She usually comes back a lot more relaxed.

Eventually, I plan on teaching them about journaling.  That is my real outlet when I’m over-stressed or can’t shut my brain off.

coffee-569178_640

But for now, I am trying to incorporate something daily that they could join me in if they want to.  Something that is not a routine either, so that I can be more flexible – something I really need to work at right now.

I am trying to make an effort to take a break in front of them.  And tell them that I am taking a break.  It will be a challenge – I will have to fight off the mom guilt for ignoring them for 5 minutes (maybe).  Something we can both benefit from.

 

Full Moon

The full moon is out tonight.  No more hiding or hoarding things you don’t need.  It’s all exposed under the light of the full moon.  This is a time to think about transformation until the next full moon. 28 days to work through the things that are holding you up or holding you back.

Also the time to recharge your crystals, your tarot cards, and anything else you want or need including yourself.  Anything to help with the heavy energy that is present.  Don’t know if you feel it to, but my anxiety has been flaring up for the past week for no reason.  I’ve been very chill up until this week.

Not sure about you, but I could use a reboot both emotionally and mentally.  Even just a short break from your thoughts can help.  Helps me when the overwhelm or anxiety begins to strike.  These can help make a margin of space between you and your emotions.  And while it may be a small margin, sometimes that’s all you need to find your footing again or shed light on the path.


Few easy ways to make time for yourself:

  • Mindfully enjoy your beverage of choice.  Feel how it moves around your mouth.  What if feels like on your teeth, tongue, cheeks, and throat.  Sounds silly, but when you take a sip think about that liquid instead of your day or whatever.  It’s like a timeout, the clock may still be running, but you have a second to stop thinking about real and “important” things.
  • Force yourself to look out the window for at least 2 minutes.  Think about what you see and try to make up a story around it.  Are the birds you see gossiping about what the squirrel did or the latest episode of X they watched through a window?  Again, it’s dumb and silly, but it gives you a pause when the thoughts come too fast.
  • Smell something that gives you comfort.  I love lavender and clean laundry.  Any chance I can work these smells into my day I am happier for it.  As tedious as laundry gets, I try to enjoy the smell and feel of warm, clean laundry.
  • Pull a tarot card.  Just one and think about the picture.  You can do a few things here with this one.  1. Tell yourself a story about the figure in the card.  The story can be in the lines of what they mean or you can go crazy.  Have the couple in the Devil card trying to sell you a used car. Or maybe a story of how the man in the ten of wands got into that situation.  Get as deep or as funny as you need. Feel free to do a spread of your choice if you have the time and energy.
  • Burn some incense or candle or spray some air freshener.  Clear your head with a new smell.  It’s amazing how much a little sandalwood smoke can completely turn my day around.
  • Take a few deep belly breaths.  Feel the air move through you even if it’s just plain room air.  Try the alternating nasal breathing exercises where you block one nostril at a time per breath.  Try breathing through your mouth or nose if you don’t normally breathe that way.  Fill your belly with air and rock a drum solo.  Take breaths sitting then standing and try to notice the difference.

Sure, this list is small and maybe a little silly.  Don’t brush off silliness.  Adulthood is boring and over-stressful.  I envy my kids – they can amuse themselves for hours with the simplest things like a piece of string, and all I can see is how useless the string is or try to list ways I can use it to make life better (but still serious).

Since the moon is full, maybe it’s time to delve into that which is causing you angst.  Maybe you’re not ready yet.  But when you feel overwhelmed, remember to take a few seconds to be mindful or silly.  Try to let the overwhelm go and shift your focus onto things more deserving of your time: you, your family and friends, your pets.

Happy Full Moon.